Dear Charlie-Anne,
I hope you don't mind if I go on a bit about Impossible Surrender. The photograph has stayed with me ever since I saw it, and I feel compelled to talk about it.
First, I find myself wondering how you chose the title and what surrender looks like to you, and whether you see it differently now than you did when you created the photograph. At the same time, I imagine the photograph holds one meaning for you and another for me, and I guess that's part of its power. For me, it feels like an Intoxicating Surrender!
What do I love about it, other than everything?
For me, the HUGE white flag for one.....and it's not a symbol of defeat. It's a symbol of surrendering the stories I told myself about who I should be. For years, I measured myself against some twisted cultural ideas of success and worried constantly about falling short. The white flag feels like freedom from that. Not giving up, but letting go.
Your relationship with Magpie and the landscape speak to me as well. In middle school, horses were my great love. I knew their smell, their sounds, their loving spirits. As I grew older, that part of my life faded into the background, but your photograph brought it rushing back. The grassland, the gentle hills, and the mountain on the horizon feel every bit as important as the figure and the flag. Together they awakened something I hadn't felt in years. In an instant, forty years seemed to collapse, and I was reunited with the part of myself that knew its own worth without question, the girl who felt most at home in the company of horses.
My brother wishes the flag were red, but I love that it's white. When I look at you on that horse, I don't see defeat. I see someone who has laid down a burden and found peace. The image feels strong, defiant, and deeply free.
In fact, in my own mind, another title for the piece has become Intoxicating Surrender. There is something almost euphoric about finally releasing expectations that no longer serve us.
Thank you for creating this!
Still Smiling,
Cheryl Ray
